


I still wait for you.

by Ohgingersnap



Series: Have you ever been in love? [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive John Winchester, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bad Decisions, Bad Parent John Winchester, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Break Up, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Child Abuse, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is John's Good Little Soldier, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Homophobic John Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Open to Interpretation, Post-Break Up, Protective Dean Winchester, Regret, Sad, Sad Castiel (Supernatural), Sad Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sad Ending, Student Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24903673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohgingersnap/pseuds/Ohgingersnap
Summary: Lately I can't sleep, I flip the pillowTossing and turning and checking my cell phoneMy head is a mess and so is my bedroomI write a text then delete it, "I love you"-----------------------"I'm so sorry Cas, so- god so fucking sorry Angel."----"What the fuck are you doing?!"-------------------The one where we see the real reasons behind Dean's break up with Cas.-------------------------------READ THE TAGS.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & John Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Series: Have you ever been in love? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776508
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	I still wait for you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final installment of my mini Dean and Cas break up Series. 
> 
> It is a must that you read the other two parts to this first!
> 
> I know this is very short and intense and originally I was going to add more but I just felt this wrapped up everything nicely and showed what it needed to.

**_Dean_ **

_ Lately I can't sleep, I flip the pillow _

_ Tossing and turning and checking my cell phone _

_ My head is a mess and so is my bedroom _

_ I write a text then delete it, "I love you" _

I sit on a ratty mattress head in my hands as I cry. The consistent hum of the a.c. buzzes around my head and through my ears like an annoying little nat. The tears that flow from swollen eyes stick to brown lashes, like sweat on skin. My skin feels prickly and breath short as I clench and clench and  **clench** the beer bottle in my hand. Surprised when the fragile glass doesn't shatter and pierce my already sensitive flesh.

This is all I do anymore. Just sit, drink and wallow in self-pity and hatred _. The Winchester Special. _

I throw my head back as I take a swing of the bitter alcohol, tears mixing with sweat and spilt beer as I try to hold my swimming head up. But I don't want to. I just want to sleep.  _ Forever _ . Maybe then I could finally forget about Cas, forget about Dad, forgot about all my responsibilities. 

The rough slam of the car door alarmed me enough that I dropped the green glass and nearly fell off of the shitty mattress in my haste to clean up.

_ Speak of the devil and he shall appear. _

I hiss as I rake the shards into shaky palms, haphazardly throwing the pieces into the small trash can in the corner.

A key rattled In the lock, I dropped the closest thing to me to the ground; one of my t-shirts, and used it to mop up the puddle of beer from the rotting floor.

" **What the fuck** **are you doing?!"**

Before I could respond a textured palm clasped onto my shoulder and tossed me back into the nearest wall. I groaned as my back hit the edge of the window sill, as that hand returned and pinned my torso to that spot, before the owner of the hand started to yell. 

"Did you make a fucking mess with the beer again Dean? Damnit, now we are going to have to live in a room that smells like it was soaked in fucking beer!"

I resisted the urge to close my eyes as I stared up at the livid man before me. "I know. I know Dad, I'm sorry. It was a mistake, it slipped from my hand, it won't happen again I promise." 

Cold brown eyes calculated the honesty in my words before roughly pushing my side and heading to the opposite side of the small motel room. 

"Go pick up Samuel." 

In a flash,a pair of shiny car keys smacked me right in the center of the forehead, before the sound of a door slamming shook the floor.

I quickly bent down and picked up the keys, and quietly made my way out of the motel room and into the hot parking lot where Baby was waiting for me. I get myself into the car, turn the engine on and blast the air before I let myself break down.  _ Again.  _

But this time I was babbling, words and apologies to myself, to Sam, to Cas. 

"I'm so sorry Cas, so- god so fucking sorry Angel I- -Sammy needed me and Dad is-god. I'm so sorry-so sorry for- I never should have left never shou-shoulda tried to- ah" 

My body aches with it, shaking and jolting around like a pebble in a blender. Shoulders hunching up and around myself as I mumble confessions underneath my breath, wishing that people that they were meant for could just hear them.

That they could just see how sorry I was, that I never wanted to leave but that I needed too. That the last thing I wanted was to break their heart, but that I had to leave because my family needed me, that Sammy needed me. That without me Sam suffered under the hands of  _ our _ father and that when my own little brother called my crying and hiccuping into the phone, saying that John blackmailed him to drop school that he threatened Sammy's girlfriend I-

"I couldn't do that to him Cas-I couldn't- I-I'm so damn sorry Angel. So fucking sorry."

_ But everyday, I still wait for you _

_ No, I don't want this to be true _

_ This beautiful disaster is you _

_ 'Cause you've been the one _

_ You know this will never change _

_ But everyday, I still wait for you _

  
  
  


**Little did Dean know that his Angel was still thinking about him too.**

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> What did you all think?
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life So please send some my way! <3
> 
> Also since this series was so short and vague, with a lot unseen, I would 100% be Ok with anyone picking up this series if they wished and explore more of the back story here. If you want to do that then please just leave me a comment down below and make sure that when or if you post the new work that You tag me on here so I get credit and that I can see it!
> 
> Till next time my loves <3


End file.
